Present Outlook

Is there anything or anyone you feel is worthy of that sort of sacrifice? Do you have a passion that you’d go that far for?

Recently rising young Rugby League star Sonny Fai was swimming at a New Zealand beach with family and friends. He was a fit, healthy, strong young man and an able swimmer. A young boy in the group was being swept out to sea and Sonny swam out to save him. The boy survived but sadly Sonny did not.

This was a high profile event in New Zealand because Sonny is well known and also because we are a relatively small country. But there are many people who have died under similar circumstances all over the world.

Would you have done the same thing? If you are a parent presumably you’d die for your child, but what about someone else’s? Would you die for a stranger? What about an animal? A cause? Your country? Your values? Your spiritual beliefs?

If you like knitting then it would be hard to feel strongly enough about knitting to die for it. If you’re an anti-whaling protester on board a protest ship out in the middle of the ocean when a whaling ship is getting ready to fire a harpoon at a whale then perhaps you would?

What makes a hero?

“The ultimate measure of a man is not where he stands in moments of comfort, but where he stands at times of challenge and controversy.” – Martin Luther King Jr

Heroism has no prerequisites in terms of education, ethnicity or socio-economic status. A hero is the right person in the right place at the right time. Chesley Sullenberger, the pilot who landed the plane in New York’s Hudson river after it hit some geese recently, was such a person. He lived to tell the tale.

Others become heroes because of their actions over a longer period of time. Mahatma Gandhi worked hard for many, many years to help the people of India achieve independence but was eventually assassinated.

Martin Luther King Jr was a great hero to many people. In his situation he was fighting against circumstances that affected him as much as they affected the people he was fighting for. But some people devote their lives to campaigning for things that do not directly affect them – such as for the planet, animals or the end of human rights abuses. They feel so strongly that they are compelled to act even though it is something that does not directly affect them.

Would you be responsive enough to act in an instant? Or have the strength to endure over a longer period of time? Or to fight for something that doesn’t affect you?

Heroism is a great thing and I find reading about great people like these incredibly inspiring (checkout CNN Heroes and Myhero.com). I like to think that I would act in a heroic fashion if the circumstances ever required it, but I suppose I just don’t know until it happens.

Blog Bravery, Heroism

This blog could be tagged with words like self-improvement, quotes, inspiration and motivation. There are a lot of blogs, books, DVDs and so on out there with a similar theme. Naturally their focus is generally on the self, and how to improve it. You could say they are inward looking. They examine the self and find ways to improve it and make it better, and they are a good thing.

However, on it’s own, this is not a complete approach. Self improvement is something that should include an outward focus.

Mother Teresa helped people, Steve Irwin helped animals, Al Gore helps the planet. I’m sure all three have room for improvement, but would they be better off spending time on self improvement? Or are we glad they chose to try to make the world a better place?

The Golden Rule, which is found in varying forms in almost all cultures and spiritual traditions, is very much outward focused. I bet anyone who lives the Golden Rule to the very best of their ability is someone who is really developing themselves – far more than someone who is dwelling heavily on their own inner workings without regard for the world around them.

By focusing on the world around you, you are engaging with it. It’s give and take – you share in it’s sadness, but also in it’s joy.

There have been various studies conducted into the effect of volunteering on volunteers which all point in the same direction – “volunteer work does help people live longer”. This study attributed this mainly to the fact that volunteers are actively engaged in their communities which boosts their mental well-being, which in turn improves their physical health.

So by helping others you also help yourself.

This isn’t really a surprise is it? The great spiritual teachers have all said this: Buddha said “Action and reaction are opposite and equal”, Jesus said “As you sow, so shall you reap”, and many others have said similar things throughout our history.

At the end of the day – what goes around comes around.

Blog Karma, Volunteering

It’s hard to have a positive outlook on life when you’re completely wrecked. I’m a terrible sleeper. Over the years I have employed almost every imaginable technique. I even participated in some research undertaken by Dr Tony Fernando, a psychiatrist and lecturer at the University of Auckland. He estimates that at least 10 per cent of people have chronic insomnia (sleeping problems that last for a month or more). So if it’s a problem for you, you’re certainly not alone.

There is no one-size-fits-all approach to sleep problems.

Everyone is different so you really have to try different things for yourself and see what works. And what worked for you last month may not work for you this month. Here are a few things that have shown some promise for me:

Go to bed relaxed – Do whatever you need to do to relax yourself. If you go to bed wound up then it’s no surprise that you’ll sleep poorly.

Have an evening routine – Having a routine can help put you into the right state. Look at all aspects of your routine: food/drink, clothing, activities.

Clothing – Have dedicated pyjamas – ie. Don’t just sleep in the underwear your were wearing during the day. Having pyjamas helps build up the routine of going to bed.

Get fresh air – Ideally have the window open if it’s not too cold.

Make sure you are the correct temperature – Have the correct number of blankets – think about what’s under you as well as whats on top.

Aromatherapy – Using an oil burner with lavender in it does help me sometimes (only use a couple of drops if it’s Lavender as more can have a stimulating effect).

Calm your mind – Concentrating on a candle flame is a really great way to still the mind after a stressful day. Just sit with the flame and focus your attention on it. When your mind wanders just bring it back to the flame. You’ll only need to do this for 5-10 minutes to start feeling a difference. Start small and gradually increase. Doing it regularly will definitely produce results.

Be active and get regular exercise – This helps me a lot. If you’ve exercised your body during the day then it is more ready for sleep.

Fatigue is the best pillow. – Benjamin Franklin

Avoid caffeine – If I have caffeine after lunchtime it’s normally a recipe for an extra bad night’s sleep. On the other hand my Dad finds a cup of coffee actually helps him sleep, so do whatever works for you.

Have a early and light evening meal – This means your digestion has settled down by the time you try to go to sleep. It can also help to avoid foods that are too spicy.

Avoid lots of liquids – Obviously this could mean you have to get up in the night to go to the toilet which is very disruptive to your sleep habits.

Go to bed (and get up) at the same time each day - Again this can help with getting your body into a rhythm of sleeping at that time.

Avoid naps during the day – Even if you’re really tired it may be better to stay awake so that you’re really tired when you get into bed.

Avoid stimulating activities immediately before bed – Watching scary movies, playing Xbox, and so on can get the adrenaline going and be really stimulating. You’ll probably be better off with a quiet book and some relaxing music. I can’t write articles for this blog late in the evening for example. My brain won’t switch off when I get into bed if I do.

Prayer – I don’t suggest you pray for a good nights sleep, but rather an unselfish prayer for world peace, the recovery of a sick friend, the good health of your friends and family etc.

Be comfortable – Make sure your bed is the correct hardness/softness for you. Have a pillow that is the right height so that your neck is comfortable.

How much sleep do you really need? – After a particularly busy and stressful time in my life I realised that I didn’t need as much sleep as I thought I did. This was a great revelation. I no longer fret over the amount of sleep I get as I know that I can get by. The average adult needs 7 or 8 hours a night but again this will vary as some can get by on less. If you need much more than this then there may be other factors involved.

The amount of sleep required by the average person is five minutes more. – Wilson Mizener

Use your bed only for sleeping (and sex) – This was advice I got during the research I participated in. Don’t read books, do Sudoku, watch TV and so on in bed. This way your body knows that being in bed means it’s time for sleep.

Lighting – Make sure your room is dark. Avoid alarm clocks and stereos with glowing displays. Make sure your curtains are thick enough to keep out any light. When you’re preparing for bed dim the lights or use a lamp so it actually feels like night time.

Relaxing music – Listening to relaxing music can help set the scene for sleep.

Put your mobile phone on silent – If you have friends who text you just as you’re drifting off to sleep then this is really the only way to avoid it. Not only does a text wake you up but it also gets you thinking about whatever they’ve contacted you about.

I’ve also tried Acupuncture, Homeopathy and herbal remedies which all helped.

If you’ve tried all these sorts of things and still have no luck then you should probably consult a medical professional in case there is something else that is causing it.

Good luck and sweet dreams.

Image: Emonn

Links for more info:
National Sleep Foundation
Sleepnet
40 Amazing Sleep Facts
The Better Sleep Council

Blog Sleep

The only thing that can change it is you. You have to make change happen yourself.

You are the Director of your life. You are the Producer. You are the Lead Actor. You are the Choreographer and Makeup Artist. You write the soundtrack. Your name is next to every title on the credits at the end of your life story.

You.

This post will not change your life. It is just words floating around in cyberspace, written by me, some guy who lives in Auckland. I can’t change your life, I’ve never even met you.

You are responsible for the decisions you make. They happen between your ears and they are entirely within your control.

This post will not change your life. Only you can do that.

Blog Action, Change

The secret of getting ahead is getting started. – Sally Berger

If you’re reading this chances are you’ve read other personal development blogs. You may have read a little or a lot. You may even be a personal development junkie.

Reading these materials is great but the only way you will really gain something from them is if you apply what you learn. “Self help” is exactly that – you help yourself. It isn’t a passive thing, it is something you have to take an active role in.

It can be easy to fall into the trap of reading posts such as this one for the sake of it, as a hobby, as an intellectual exercise, or in the hope that one day you will find a magical post that will show you how to solve all your problems in one easy hit. But if you actually want to change your life for the better then it is up to you to help yourself.

Here are 4 important steps to take to get more out of personal development materials:

1. Choose your source of inspiration wisely

Not everything you read will be sensible or relevant to you. Some of it may be downright unhelpful. So think about what you read and figure out if it is right for you. The person writing it may not be any more qualified to give advice than you are. Anyone can set themselves up on the internet and claim to be a guru of this or that. Don’t accept anything you read at face value. Use your common sense to decide what advice you’ll heed. Do this with everything you read, including this.

2. Act

If you’re confident of the quality of the advice then it’s really simple – the only way to bring about change is to ACT. The kind of changes that you are most likely looking for in your life are unlikely to happen by chance. So take note of what you read. Print it out or write it down and highlight what you’re going to do and when you’re going to do it. Carry it around with you or stick it on the fridge until you’ve acted on it’s advice so you don’t forget about it.

3. Adhere

If you’re happy with the results you get then stick with it. It’s easy to get excited about a new book, technique, philosophy etc. But it’s also easy to let that enthusiasm pass and forget about it. Self improvement is not a quick fix unfortunately and results often take time to show. Don’t lose heart just because your life isn’t fixed overnight. Hang in there.

4. Review

A little further down the track reassess to see if the changes you’ve made are actually working. Do you need to tweak things? Are you ready for the next step? It is best to see self-development as an ongoing process rather than a one-off quick fix.

Blog Self development