Jack Nicholson was right – some people just can’t handle the truth. In fact most of us have some truth or other that we can’t handle – or choose not to handle – whether it’s about a relationship, your job, your weaknesses, your strengths, your finances, your character, your values, your spirituality…
But the truth is still the truth whether you like it or not.
Sometimes it hurts.
Sometimes it’s difficult.
Sometimes it’s unpopular.
Sometimes it’s hard to find.
Sometimes you don’t want to believe it.
But in the long run the truth is always worth it.
The truth is incontrovertible; malice may attack it, ignorance may deride it, but in the end, there it is. – Winston Churchill
Can you handle the truth about your situation?
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How do you know which is which?
You don’t.
The only real way to answer this question is in hindsight. And when you’re making your decision you don’t have that unfortunately.
The question you should be asking yourself is how badly do you want it? If you really want it then you’ll work much harder and longer for it than someone who is only mildly interested in it. If you really want it then you’ll be prepared to risk failing. If you really want it then you’ll be prepared to make sacrifices to get it.
Don’t ask yourself whether you should carry on or quit. Don’t make a spreadsheet to compare pros and cons. Don’t ask your friends what they’d do.
Ask yourself how badly you want it.
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Don’t you think so?
So you lost out on something. But didn’t you enjoy it while it lasted?
Anything worthwhile in life involves risk – the risk of failure. Sometimes that risk is too great for people to contemplate. But their lives are surely less if they fail to do so.
By falling in love you risk rejection.
By trying to get a better job you risk rejection.
By trying to get a book published you risk rejection.
By trying to get to the national team for your sport you risk rejection.
But you still try.
And what if you do make that sports team and get to play one game only to be dropped immediately because there is someone better to take your place? Would you rather that you never had the chance to play for the team? Would you still be glad you had the opportunity? Was it worth it just for that short moment?
What about falling in love and then getting dropped very soon after? That hurts, but isn’t it worth it? Aren’t you wiser for the experience? Wasn’t it wonderful while it lasted?
All things pass eventually – good and bad. So in a way you have to let go of everything sooner or later. It’s just that some things change sooner than others. And some things a lot sooner than you would prefer and that can be difficult. But then that’s life so you might as well get use to it.
It’s still worth the risk to try new things – sure, it might not work out – but what if it does, how great would that be!
To do anything in this world worth doing, we must not stand back shivering and thinking of the cold and danger, but jump in, and scramble through as well as we can.
- Sydney Smith
Or would you rather stick with the security of having nothing – so that you having nothing to lose…
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Laziness.
Yep, it’s true. It’s as simple as that. You know it deep down even if you don’t like to admit it.
If you lined up the 1000 most successful people in the world and asked them what the key to their success was, most of them would say it was hard work (aka the opposite of laziness).
What is it that gets an Olympic athlete a gold medal?
Hard work.
What is it that will get you what you want in life?
Hard work – effort, practice, perseverance, self discipline…
We could all have more money if we worked harder. We could all have better relationships if we put enough effort into them. We could all make a difference in the world if we were prepared to work hard to do so. We could all be happier if we really tried.
Working hard means putting effort in when you’d rather be watching TV. It means getting up early when you’re still tired. It means sacrificing things so that you can keep working towards your goal. It means gritting your teeth and carrying on when times are tough.
Working hard is what most people aren’t prepared to do.
Because they’re lazy.
Image: johnthescone
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Image: kwerfeldein
Ever woken up one day and realised that you weren’t doing what you wanted to be doing? That somehow you’d ended up doing something that you had no intention of doing and you’re not really sure how it happened?
Life can be like that. Distractions can be subtle and insidious. We can start out with big plans to do something but then it somehow never eventuates. Our goals get forgotten about. Our enthusiasm for them wanes.
Sometimes circumstances seem to conspire against us but more often than not, at least in my case, we are our own worst enemy. I know that I’m wandering away from my goals. I can feel myself losing direction and yet I still allow it to happen.
Up to a point.
For me that point is where I realise that I don’t want to be deviated from where I’m going any further. I chose to get back on track and refocus. This can be a really fun and exciting time because the process of getting back on track is a very active one. It makes you feel like you’re really doing something, really achieving something.
But then slowly over time the path towards the goal gets tedious. Or difficult. Or confusing. Or you see something interesting just off to the side of the path. You slip off the path to take a quick look. Before long you realise that you’re distracted and start looking for the path again. Hopefully you haven’t strayed too far from it so you can find your way back and carry on your journey without having wasted too much time. But what if you’ve strayed a long way? It could take you a while to find the path again.
Be vigilant. Define your goals clearly and unambiguously – and stick to them. Set out a clear path towards them. Make it black and white so that you are either on the path or off it. Avoid grey areas. Be flexible when appropriate but for the most part be steadfast. Hold firm to what you are trying to achieve and do not allow yourself to be distracted.
To achieve anything worthwhile in life you have to work hard for it. And things that are worth achieving generally don’t come easy. In fact they generally take a lot of effort, hard work and discipline. And sometimes literally “blood, sweat and tears”.
Lance Armstrong just twittered “Toughness is being redefined today”. When you’re going through a rough patch and struggling to keep focused adopt this attitude. Stand firm and stick with your plan.
Rise to the challenge, you’re up to it.
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